WTH is a baby stag party, you ask? Well, it’s a whole new way of celebrating the impending birth of your child and preparing for the complete life change ahead of you.
Let us take you through all the ins and outs of what it’s all about, why you really need one and how to do it without pissing anyone off…
What is a baby stag party, anyway?
Although the title might be slightly confusing, it is not, we repeat NOT, a way of having a stag party involving lots of cute little babies.
It is, rather, the male/other equivalent of a baby shower type thing for a pregnant person. Except, it’s obviously not for the pregnant person, but for the non-pregnant part of the team.
A baby stag party, also hilariously known as a Dadchelor Party, is a way for everyone to help the baby’s dad/guardian to live it up with friends for a night or a weekend before the arrival of the little bundle of joy and the inevitable life change that accompanies it.
What happens at a baby stag party?
No one knows for sure, to be honest. It’s not well established enough as a concept to have any long-held traditional ways of celebrating, so that pretty much leaves the field wide open to do whatever the hell you please.
You can still buy L Plates, still dress up (preferably in nappies…) and you can absolutely still tie the baby stag naked to a lamppost if the urge overwhelms you. However, if your baby stag intends to have more kids down the line, you might want to only tie him naked if your baby stag party is being held somewhere with decent weather. Brass monkeys and large families are mutually exclusive, we think.
What happens at the baby stag party is entirely up to the participants organising it but think of it as the time to get together before life changes completely…for the rest of time. If that doesn’t encourage you to do to something fun, then nothing will.
How is it different from a regular stag party?
While a regular stag is a chance to celebrate before someone gets married, the baby stag party is possibly the last chance to celebrate (at least for a good while) a complete change in someone’s life that getting hitched doesn’t necessarily bring. However, as your baby stag is expecting a child, it’s not too far fetched a notion to understand that means many friends may already have been through this themselves.
This often means a baby stag party is vastly different from the regular stag party in terms of participants, nature of the event, and how wild it gets. No one wants to spend 2 days on the lash to return home with a hellish hangover, absolutely knackered, to deal with work, kids, and essential day-to-day responsibilities they didn’t have 10 years ago.
While, stereotypically, the whole ‘being tied to a lamppost’ thing was seen as the gold standard of wild stag dos, a baby stag can be as far removed from that as you like. There’s nothing to dictate it has to be an all-out crazy fest.
It can be as ‘normal’ as a golfing weekend away where you genuinely talk about your fears and hopes with your closest mates and get advice from other Dads in the group. No Dad in history has ever regretted asking how to assemble a cot.
When should you go?
One of the most important factors in the whole baby stag party is the when. You probably shouldn’t head out in the days immediately before the due date, because obviously. The timing has to be sensible, and it has to be done in conjunction with your partner and her general health.
Some heavily pregnant women have zero issues with health or the baby before birth and some aren’t lucky enough to fare so well. Discuss it and make a decision that suits you both.
The key is to strike a balance between doing it too close to the due date when you’re antsy and worried and, therefore, won’t enjoy yourself, or too far away from the due date when the realisation maybe hasn’t *quite* set in and you don’t appreciate the significance quite as much.
We recommend around 6-8 weeks beforehand, subject to everyone’s agreement.
How to be sensitive to your partner before you go
You do NOT want your dad career to get off to a dreadful start by being insensitive to the person currently growing an entire other person inside her and suffering all the incredible fun side effects that brings with it. The sore back, the sore neck, the sore, well…everything. The sickness, the cravings, the lack of sleep, the being poked and prodded by nurses and doctors and the other less printable things you don’t want to be reading about while drinking your afternoon coffee.
Anyway, our point is that you cannot breeze into the lounge and announce you’re heading to Dublin for the weekend with your mates, but it’s ok because you’ve called your sister and she says she’ll check in on your partner on the Saturday morning in case she wants more of that ice cream you should really have shares in by now.
Obviously, you’ll already have offered to go solo with your wee one when the time’s right for your partner to have a night out or weekend away with her girlfriends, but the key to arranging a smooth baby stag party is to handle it sensitively.
Once you have a date in mind, it wouldn’t be wrong to inform her parents, your parents, brothers, sisters, and the family dogs, to make sure she’s got the support around her, should she need something.
Arrange something special for her
We also highly recommend arranging a little something for her in your absence. We’re not talking parties or other things she can’t do, like drink alcohol or dance all night. We’re talking maybe a spa afternoon, a mobile therapist to come to the house and give her a treatment or do her nails.
The last thing you want is for her to be at home, secretly hating you for being out having a great time while she waddles uncomfortably around the house with another human attached to her which, when she thinks about it, is 50% your fault…
So, what kind of things should you be doing?
Again, this is entirely dependent on personal circumstances. There’s little to stop a baby stag party being a day out at the game, followed by a night in the pub. Unless, of course, this is what you do every Saturday (for the time being…).
There’s also nothing to say it can’t be a weekend in Waterford, Dundee or Bangor, if it’s deemed appropriate. If you’re short of ideas, have some of ours:
Organise a stress-free baby stag party afternoon out with your mates playing footie while surrounded by a massive air-filled bubble. Having the security of the bubble will ensure the crown jewels are protected and you can also challenge like Joey Barton in his prime without killing someone.
If you’ve always wanted to roll around after a tackle like some of your favourite Italian professionals, now’s the time to see just how much fun it can be. Afterwards, pretend you’re the ref and VAR officials by discussing what was offside and what should have resulted in a red card in the pub. A two-match ban for dangerous conduct and offensive language will likely be dished out to everyone present.
There are loads of top-quality breweries to choose from, either close to home or not so close to home. Whether you’re in the mood for beer, gin, whisky, vodka, or whatever else is on offer, a few hours spent seeing how it’s all done and getting to taste it afterwards, is the perfect jumping-off point for a baby stag party.
Extra points are dished out to anyone who picks up a bottle of the finest product for the pregnant lady to enjoy once she can.
Let’s face it, there are currently no professional foot golfers, so you could become the first. Way to provide for your family, genius man! If you fancy yourself part Jon Rahm, part Mo Salah, why not host your baby stag party on the course?
Footgolf is always a good laugh, and we suggest you make it more fun by adding a few dares to the day. For example, if you lose, you must return home and suggest the names ‘Bubba’ and ‘Tiger’ to your partner as suitable monikers for the new baby. And you must do it with a straight face.
Baby stag parties are supposed to be a fun way for a baby Daddy to celebrate the upcoming arrival of his child with his closest mates. The way the party pans out is entirely up to those involved and can involve anything they wish. The most important part of the whole idea is to discuss it with your partner before taking it forward.
As going out and partying isn’t an option for a heavily pregnant person, sensitivity and understanding must be forefront of your mind when making the suggestion.
Whatever you choose, have a great time and congratulations on the new arrival, when it comes along! You’re going to be great.