Introduction
You may have pulled off the best stag party since a beardy fat bloke shared a hotel bathroom with a Las Vegas tiger. You might even be guarding the wedding rings with more loyalty than a barefoot short guy from the Shire.
But your jobβs not over yet.
Youβve convinced yourself that if you squint you look a bit like Bradley Cooper in your tux. But with all eyes on you, have you remembered to accessorise with a slamming best man speech?
The best manβs toast is undoubtedly a highlight at any wedding β but letβs face it weβve all witnessed some train wrecks. Unless youβre a natural at stand-up, chances are youβre going to need some guidance. Luckily for you, we at The Stagβs Balls have got plenty of tips for you to write a memorable best man speechβ¦
1. Beware the internet
Wait, donβt close your browser just yet, lads β read this first. We can all agree there is some terrible advice out there. So step away from any websites recommending one-liners about emotional cakes being in tiers or it being the fifth time today youβve stood up with a warm piece of paper in your hand. Which brings us to our next pointβ¦
2. If you have to force it, itβs probablyβ¦
We all know how that one ends. Yes, you might raise a few titters out of a recycled βcheapskateβ joke at the groomβs expense, but youβre better than that. Whether youβve known him since he was in nappies or you met as young, dumb, full ofβ¦ enthusiasm lads in uni halls, youβre the person with the best (embarrassing) stories about him, so use them
3. Itβs all about you (erβ¦ not)
The focus here should be a witty description of the groom. By all means have your moment of ecstatic bromance, but once youβve finished reminiscing over your first 18-30s holiday together, move on to describing some character traits that friends and family will recognise are really βhimβ. Maybe he knows all the words to the Moana soundtrack or has an unhealthy obsession with hair wax β whatever it is, make sure itβs him and not some made-up groom youβre talking about
4. Compliment his better half
You might object to your bestie skipping Tuesdayβs five-a-side football to stay in and watch Bake Off, but reminding his partner theyβre too good for him and saying a few words about how heβs changed (for the better) since meeting the right person always goes down a treat (it helps if thereβs an element of truth here, but itβs not essential).
5. Drop a love bomb not a Jaegerbomb
Even we know a wedding is really just a party with a free bar and lots of fancy decorations. Getting shit-faced at some point in the evening is given, but try and wait until after the speech so you donβt have to slur your way through it.
6. Ex-rated
Donβt refer to the groomβs exes as βconquestsβ. In fact, donβt refer to the groomβs exes at all. Even if you have a wealth of material on this subject. Itβs just no, sorry. You want to have a memorable best man speech for the right reasons!
7. Know your audience
Youβll have everyone from kids to the elderly hanging on your every word if you get this right. Innuendo is fine β youβre not in church now β just donβt get too smutty. The groomβs nan doesnβt need to hear about the βsoggy biscuit yearsβ.
8. That escalated quickly
Reeling off a list of anecdotes doesnβt really work, however funny they are. Try and develop a narrative by building your speech on a theme. Maybe the groomβs a nature lover β how would David Attenborough describe this rare breed of man? Perhaps heβs a Marvel freak β what would his powers be if he was a superhero?
9. Exploit the experts
If youβre struggling and need some expert advice, the comedy writers at Speechy help save wedding speeches from tired clichΓ©s, Googled gags, and awkward silences β one best man at a time.
Their memorable Best Man Speech Template is designed to extract your best material and create genuine humour without having to resort to generic jokes. And their BBC-trained scriptwriters know what works and what doesnβt. Having worked with shows like Have I Got News For You and with comedians like David Mitchell, their writers understand what the audience wants.
For 15% off your perfect and memorable best man speech, use their special code PROMO1. And if they think your first go at the speech is actually fine as it is, theyβll refund you!
10. If you havenβt planned the perfect stag party yetβ¦
Then itβs time to check out whatβs on offer for stag party accommodation, day activities and nightlife options in our Irish, UK and European stag party destinations.
Give us a shout if you have any questions and weβll be happy to help plan out an amazing stag trip.
Conclusion
Now that your stag do is sorted and with the wedding not long after, go forth and impress everyone with a sophisticated and memorable best man speech to go with that suit.
Speech!