You’ve been asked to be the Best Man. It’s an honour, it’s exciting but it’s also a bit terrifying if you’re not sure what’s involved. De-mystify the whole role with our complete Best Man duties checklist – from the stag party to the speech and all the pre-wedding prep to make sure the Groom gets to the end of that aisle in one piece.
Note: Whether you’re the Best Man, Best Woman, Man Of Honour, Groomswoman or any other Groom-supporting role, this Best Man duties list will still be relevant to you. So, read on!
Quick top 5 best man duties
- Plan the stag do
- Help pick and organise the suits
- Support the Groom in the lead-up to the wedding
- Hold onto the rings on the wedding day
- Make a wedding speech (check out our best man speech writing guide)
The full list of best man duties
1. First, check in with the Groom
We put this first because it’s genuinely the most important first step, in our opinion. Once you’ve been asked to be the Best Man, make sure you check the big details with him about the stag do and the whole wedding journey. Ask questions like:
- What does he expect from you?
- Does he want you to make a wedding speech? Any rules for this?
- How involved would he like you to be in the wedding planning?
- What is he stressed about that you can help with?
- Who does he want on the stag party invite list?
- What are his absolute do’s and don’ts for the stag party?
- What is his plan for the days before the wedding?
- What is he planning for the morning of the wedding?
- How can you best help him on the day?
You’ll be able to take confident steps as his Best Man once you have this information at your fingertips.
2. Weeks to months before the wedding
- Plan the stag party: This is definitely one of the most important Best Man duties on the list.
- Regularly touch base with the Groom: Do this on a regular basis to see if there’s anything you can be doing to support him in preparing for the wedding.
- Help organise the suits: This might be just ordering or dry-cleaning your own suit, if the Groom is keeping it simple. Or, it might involve scheduling and attending suit fittings with the full kit and caboodle.
- Buy a wedding gift for the couple: It doesn’t have to be something super over the top, just because you’re the best man. Keep it simple but try to make it heartfelt and relevant to them and their future life. If in doubt, buy them a candle and write a card that says something about a “bright future ahead”.
3. Days before the wedding
- Get groomed: Keeping within any specifications the Groom has given you, make sure you are trimmed and tidied up a day or two before the wedding. This might involve a haircut, beard trim, cutting of nails, shoe polishing and accessorising.
- Support in the lead-up: Check in with the Groom to see how you can help in the two or three days lead-up to the wedding. Are there any last-minute emergencies? Does he need a pep talk?
- Help with venue setup: Depending on how all-out the couple has gone, make sure you offer to help set up any furniture, decorations or other items in their venue.
- Prep the Groom’s wedding day survival kit: Make sure you have everything bought and ready to keep in the Groom’s wedding day survival kit. This sounds a bit girlie but, trust us, there are some things you’ll need on hand if you want to make sure the Groom gets through the day happily and in one piece.
3. On the wedding day
- Holding onto the wedding rings: This is not one to take lightly, man. If you’re the type to lose things easily, then make sure you have a plan in place to keep those babies close at hand until the big moment.
- Be a witness on the marriage certificate (if asked): It’ll go down in history that you were there, so practice your signature if needed!
- Give a Best Man speech: We know there’s a lot of pressure around giving a Best Man speech. It’s very public, it’s fraught with danger and it’s your chance to make a tribute to one of the closest lads in your life. We recommend deciding on the length, tone and content of your speech by checking out the speech steps on our Best Man Guide page. By breaking it down, you take the stress out of creating it. Then it’s just practice, practice, practice.
- Dance with the Maid Of Honour: This isn’t always required but check with the Groom in case they expect you to prepare or attend dance classes.
- Life of the party: Work the room, greet guests make sure the reception party is running smoothly. Just make sure not to get too drunk.
4. After the wedding day
Zip. Zilch. Nada.
I mean, maybe check in with the Groom after the honeymoon and make sure he’s alive and kicking. But besides that… relax man, you’re done!
The 6 main challenges of your best man duties
- It can be expensive: Accepting an invitation to be a Best Man or being part of a wedding party can come with a hefty-ish price tag. It’s best to be upfront from the beginning about any financial limitations so the Groom and others can plan accordingly.
- Going too far: If you’ve known the Groom for years or are a member of his family, you’re probably thinking of some epic pranks and daring stag do activities. We fully encourage the fun side of a stag but just be careful not to endanger the stag’s health, relationships or reputation before the big day.
- Punctuality: Whether it’s showing up for suit fittings, planning the stag or paying for wedding-related and stag items, it’s important to be on time and organised. Keep in mind, the rest of the groomsmen and the stag party members will probably be late for everything (including paying), so you’ll need to be on the ball to make sure everyone falls in line.
Pro tip: Booking your stag party with us means you don’t have to chase the lads for money – we do it all for you!
- Being a Remote Best Man: If you live overseas or far away from the Groom, you’re going to need to communicate well from the outset to do the job properly and manage expectations about how present you’re going to be on the journey if you’re not physically there before the wedding. It’s possible but you might need to work a bit harder and keep the lines of communication honest and open…
- Not asking for help: Planning a stag party and carrying out your other best man duties can be stressful and it’s important to know when to call in the cavalry (other groomsmen) if you need help. It’s better to have everything 100% sorted on time than to struggle along quietly and have the whole experience implode.
- Maintaining a positive outlook: There are going to bumps in the road. to the stag party and the wedding. Your job is to help the Groom overcome them and enjoy the whole journey as much as he can! Be there to support him, offer solutions and get him over that line.
Do you know the Maid Of Honour?
Send her a link to the Maid Of Honour Bible guide on our sister site, The Foxy Hen!
You survived the experience (we hope in good form) and we’re sure your efforts from this Best Man duties checklist will go down in history for epic-ness and quality.