Planning a stag do is supposed to be one of the easier jobs in the wedding build up. Get the lads together, pick a destination, book a few decent activities, find some good bars and make sure the groom has a weekend he won’t forget. Simple enough. Until your mate becomes a Groomzilla!
The good news is that there are ways to deal with a Groomzilla without starting a full-scale mutiny. With a bit of patience, a few well-timed distractions and a decent plan, you can keep the groom happy while still making sure the lads get the stag do they signed up for.
What Is a Groomzilla?
A Groomzilla is basically a groom who’s become a little too invested in the planning of his stag do. He’s the bloke who says he doesn’t mind what you do, followed immediately by a list of things he doesn’t want to do. He’ll tell you to organise whatever you think is best, then ask for an update on the WhatsApp group two days later. Before long, he’s asking whether the hotel has enough twin rooms, whether the restaurant has a decent steak and what time everyone needs to be downstairs for the transfer.
We’ve all got that one mate who likes to know what’s going on, so don’t immediately treat him like the enemy. Getting married is a big deal and there’s usually a lot going on in the background. The groom might simply be worried that the stag do won’t live up to expectations, particularly if he’s been told that this is supposed to be his “last big weekend” before married life.
The trick is knowing when he’s being helpfully involved and when he’s crossed the line into full Groomzilla territory. If he’s offering a few suggestions, that’s fine. If he’s sending you spreadsheets at midnight with alternative bar routes, you’ve probably gone too far.
Find Out What the Groom Actually Wants
One of the easiest ways to prevent Groomzilla behaviour is to involve him at the start. You don’t need to let him organise the whole thing, but it’s worth finding out what sort of stag do he actually wants before you start making bookings.
Have a chat about the destination, the type of activities he’d enjoy and what sort of weekend he’s after. Maybe he’s keen on a proper party weekend with bars, clubs and a few drinks. Perhaps he’d rather spend the day doing something competitive before heading out for dinner. He might be desperate to try something ridiculous that he’s never done before.
It’s also worth finding out what he definitely doesn’t want. There’s no point booking something he hates just because the rest of the lads think it’ll be funny. The groom should obviously be up for the activities too, even if you do reserve the right to give him a bit of grief throughout the weekend. Once you’ve got the basics sorted, you can take the pressure off him and get on with the organising.
Give Him Some Control Without Giving Him the Keys
If your groom is already showing signs of becoming a Groomzilla, don’t hand him a blank canvas and ask him to make every decision. He’ll probably still be choosing the restaurant three months later.
Instead, give him a few options. If you’re deciding between several activities, put forward the ones you think the group will enjoy and let him pick his favourite. The same goes for restaurants or the general style of the night out. It gives him a say without turning the stag planning into a second job.
This works particularly well because the groom gets to feel involved while someone else handles all the boring stuff. He can choose whether he’d rather spend the afternoon playing bubble football or taking part in a competitive challenge, but he doesn’t need to know who confirmed the booking or which member of the group still hasn’t paid. That’s what the best man and the rest of the lads are for.
Keep the Stag Do Group Chat Under Control
The WhatsApp group can either be your best friend or the biggest pain in the backside during stag do planning. You know how it goes. Someone asks a simple question and suddenly there are 83 messages, three different suggestions, two people arguing about the price and one bloke who hasn’t even read any of it.
A Groomzilla can make things even more chaotic because he’ll want to know exactly what’s happening. The easiest solution is to have one or two people responsible for the main planning. They can share the important information with the group rather than having every tiny decision debated by fourteen blokes.
If the groom starts asking whether the hotel booking has been confirmed for the fourth time, there’s no need to get annoyed. Just reassure him that it’s sorted. “Don’t worry, mate, we’ve got it covered” is often all he needs to hear.
You might even want to keep some details out of the group chat altogether. If you’ve got a surprise planned, don’t give the Groomzilla a chance to investigate it like he’s cracking a criminal case.
Don’t Let the Groom Organise His Own Stag Do
This sounds obvious, but it’s surprisingly easy to let it happen. The groom starts asking questions, so you give him more information. He offers to help, so you give him a job. He wants to check something, so you send him the booking details. Before you know it, he’s basically running the entire weekend.
Stop. The whole point of a stag do is that the groom gets to relax and enjoy himself. He shouldn’t be spending the weekend checking booking confirmations or worrying about whether everyone has made it to the next venue.
If you’ve sorted the accommodation, activities, transport and meals, tell him they’re sorted. If there’s a problem, deal with it yourselves rather than dragging him into it. He doesn’t need to know that the restaurant rang because you accidentally booked the table for the wrong time. Fix it, keep quiet and carry on.
That’s part of being the lads organising the stag. You’re there to make sure the groom has a great time, not to give him another list of things to worry about.
Book Activities That Are Already Organised
A stag do becomes much easier when you don’t have to organise every minute yourself. Rather than spending half the weekend deciding what to do next, book activities where everything’s already arranged for you.
There are loads of options that work well for stag dos, depending on the group. You could go for something competitive like paintball, bubble football or karting, or choose something a bit more relaxed such as a brewery tour or food experience. If you’re after something completely ridiculous, there are also themed experiences and challenges that’ll give the lads something to laugh about long after the weekend’s over.
The advantage is that the activity has a set time, a venue and someone there to run it. Equipment and instructions can also be included, meaning nobody has to turn up carrying half a sports shop in their suitcase.
It also gives the weekend some structure without making it feel like a school trip. Have an activity during the day, leave enough time to get showered and changed, grab some food and then head out for the evening. That’s usually enough planning without needing a 47 page itinerary.
Make Sure Everyone Knows What’s Included
Money can get awkward on a stag do, especially when you’ve got a big group. One person thinks they’ve paid for everything, another thinks drinks are included and someone else suddenly discovers that the activity costs an extra £40.
Avoid the drama by making sure everyone knows what’s included before the weekend starts. If an activity includes equipment, say so. If transfers are included, make that clear. If you’ve got food or drinks included in a package, let everyone know exactly what’s covered.
This isn’t just useful for the rest of the lads. It’ll also stop the Groomzilla asking you what he’s paid for every five minutes.
The more you can sort before the weekend, the better. Once everyone’s paid, the bookings are confirmed and the plans are clear, you can all get on with the important business of having a few drinks and making questionable decisions.
Give the Groom a Small Job
If the groom really can’t resist getting involved, give him something harmless to do. This might sound backwards when you’re trying to deal with a Groomzilla, but giving him a little responsibility can actually stop him trying to interfere with everything else.
Let him choose the playlist for the journey. Ask him to pick between two restaurants. Put him in charge of deciding what ridiculous outfit the lads have to wear for the day. Give him something that makes him feel involved without handing him the entire booking spreadsheet.
The important thing is to choose wisely. Do not put him in charge of the budget. Do not ask him to coordinate everyone’s travel. And definitely don’t give him access to the master spreadsheet if you’ve spent three months trying to keep him away from it.
A little bit of control is fine. Complete control is how you end up with a groom sending everyone a timetable for the weekend.
Keep a Few Things as a Surprise
There’s nothing wrong with keeping some parts of the stag do secret. In fact, it might be exactly what your Groomzilla needs.
You don’t have to tell him every single detail. If you’ve booked a surprise activity or arranged something special, keep it to yourselves. He can’t complain about the details if he doesn’t know what they are.
Obviously, use a bit of common sense. The surprise should be something he’ll actually enjoy, rather than something designed purely to embarrass him or make him uncomfortable. You know your mate better than anyone, so you’ll know where the line is.
A surprise can also make the weekend feel much more exciting. Even the groom who wants to know everything might enjoy being told, “Just be ready at 2pm and wear something you don’t mind getting messy.” That’s all the information he needs.
Don’t Let a Bit of Moaning Ruin the Weekend
At some point, the groom will probably complain about something. Maybe the food isn’t what he expected. Perhaps the hotel room isn’t quite as glamorous as he’d hoped. Maybe he wanted to go to a different bar.
Don’t panic. Stag dos rarely go exactly to plan, and that’s part of the fun. Someone will be late. Someone will lose their phone. Someone will order a meal and then decide they don’t like it. Someone will confidently lead the entire group down the wrong street despite having absolutely no idea where they’re going. You can’t control everything, and you shouldn’t try to.
If the groom starts getting wound up over something minor, give him a bit of stick and move on. He’s there to have fun, not conduct a formal inspection of the weekend. Most little problems won’t matter by the following morning anyway.
Have One Person Making the Final Decisions
It’s much easier to organise a stag do when someone has the final say. It might be the best man, the groom’s brother or simply the mate who’s best at getting things sorted.
That doesn’t mean everyone else gets ignored. It just means there needs to be someone who can make a decision when the group inevitably can’t agree.
Otherwise, you’ll have ten lads standing outside a restaurant saying, “I’m easy, wherever you lot want to go,” while nobody actually chooses somewhere.
Give one person responsibility for keeping the plans moving and let them deal with the practical stuff. It’ll make everything smoother and it’ll give the groom one person to ask when he wants to know what’s happening. Just make sure that person doesn’t become the second Groomzilla.
How to Calm Down a Groomzilla
Sometimes the best way to deal with a Groomzilla is simply to get him to chill out. If he’s worrying about every tiny detail of the stag, remind him that he doesn’t actually need to organise his own weekend. That’s what his mates are there for. Once the important stuff is booked and everyone knows the plan, he needs to step back and let you lot get on with it.
A pint, some food, a bit of football or a change of scenery can work wonders when he’s getting himself worked up. He might just need to switch off from wedding planning and remember that the stag is supposed to be fun. A bit of friendly banter can help too, especially if he’s started treating the itinerary like a military operation.
It’s also worth leaving some downtime in the weekend. Packing every minute with activities, meals and transfers can make anyone feel frazzled, so give the lads time to sit down, have a drink and relax without having somewhere else to be.
Most importantly, don’t feed the panic. If something’s booked, it’s booked. If there’s a minor problem, sort it without dragging him into it. The less he has to worry about, the easier it’ll be for him to relax. Once he’s with the lads, the drinks are flowing and the first activity is underway, there’s a good chance the Groomzilla will soon disappear and the normal bloke will return.
Remember What the Stag Do Is Really About
When all’s said and done, the groom isn’t going to remember whether you left the hotel at 6.15pm or 6.30pm. He probably won’t care whether the restaurant was a five-minute walk or a 10-minute taxi ride away either.
He’ll remember being surrounded by his mates, doing ridiculous things, having a few too many drinks and laughing until his stomach hurt. That’s what makes a stag do memorable.
So don’t get too caught up in making everything perfect. Book some decent activities, make sure there’s good food, sort out the nightlife and leave enough room for the unexpected. The best stag do stories usually come from the bits nobody planned.
If your mate has started turning into a Groomzilla, give him a little say, reassure him that everything’s under control and then get on with organising a weekend that’ll knock his socks off. Let him choose a few of the big things, while you and the lads handle the boring details.
Most importantly, keep it fun. The groom’s getting married, so he’s got enough serious stuff going on already. The stag do is his chance to forget about seating plans, wedding suppliers and whether Auntie Carol has confirmed her meal choice. He just needs his mates, a cracking weekend and enough stories to keep the wedding speeches interesting.
So sort the activities, get the lads together, make sure everyone knows what’s included and give the Groomzilla one simple instruction: turn up, enjoy yourself and stop checking the itinerary. After all, you’ve got a stag do to get on with!
If you’re still at the planning stage, check out our stag do activities and accommodation options to suit all tastes and budgets.
